We like nice, neat packages. Yes or no questions. One line or one word answers.
I’m all for keeping things simple, but in many cases ideas, concepts, or even in this case, occupations are way more complex and need more than a word.
In a group I’m a part of we are all dentists, but explore side gigs and some even the idea of a complete career change. One observation I have, from my own journey and others sharing theirs, is that we seem to struggle with being more than one thing. It’s like an either – or, rather than a yes, and.
It’s hard to make a complete change in one fell swoop – say going from full-time dentist to full-time something else. It can be done, of course, but it’s safer and easier to do what we discussed as a “bridge” – where you may be doing multiple things, including dentistry at the same time.
Or maybe even doing dentistry part-time and something else part-time. Yet again though we seem to struggle with this “in-between.”
As I observed the struggle with this idea, it got me thinking.
Why does it have to be all or nothing? Or one or the other?
Is it that we cling to that label or identity?
Why do we have to be either a dentist or a painter or writer or teacher?
Why can’t we be a dentist AND a painter AND a writer AND a teacher?!
Why do we have to label or be one thing? Life isn’t like that.
We as humans are complex.
I’m a dentist, but I’m also a writer, creative, athlete, dog mom, wife, etc.
Is it just that our mind has a hard time managing all that information? Or, again we have a certain notion that comes with each identity?
We like labels and boxes, (not just to send things via UPS, haha) I get it. It helps us understand and manage things to a certain degree but doesn’t it also then put things – or people – in boxes?
I’ve always disliked saying I’m a dentist because one, most people “hate the dentist” and two, they usually think of dollar signs, not just teeth.
I can be a dentist and other occupations. We create OUR life – each unique.
In thinking about this topic, I also think that this all starts at such a young age. We get asked when we are even just 4 or 5 years old, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Talk about a big, anxiety -inducing question for a child! Because our answers stick with us as well as the response we receive from our answers.
I honestly don’t recall what I said that young. For a long time it was a doctor. Now, I’d say “all the things!” LOL
Or, similarly, even as we are older, one of the first things we ask someone when we meet them is “what do you do?”
When you think about it, that’s pretty intrusive, no?
I loved hearing some fellow dentists say they stopped answering that “what do you do” question with dentist, and instead said other things like they are a writer or entrepreneur or whatever their side gig or hobby was.
Isn’t that so much more interesting?!
However I do think for some it makes it harder to figure someone out and label or place them in a box. Like, when we meet people we want to figure them all out – wouldn’t it be more interesting to ask people what do they do for fun or what brings them joy?
This would also tell us a lot about a person – just in a different, more subjective way.
I’m curious, do those of you in other fields find some of these things to be true? Do you fellow dentists agree or not?
I look forward to changing my answers to “what do you do” and asking others, not what do you do, but what do you do for fun and what brings you joy? I know answering those is often much more fun!