I’m feeling that it’s time.
It’s time to share a very personal part of my story.
Of what I’ve been going through
And I share, not to gain status or reputation.
I share to help others.
Even impacting one woman will be worth it.
I know I could have used it 18+ years ago
When I thought I wasn’t enough as I was.
That I wasn’t womanly enough.
I wasn’t curvy enough.
I wasn’t sexy enough.
Sadly I was also dating someone who fed into those feelings and anxieties.
And I caved.
To my feelings of insecurity.
My then boyfriend’s comments.
And society’s expectations that I wasn’t adequate as I was.
Now at 43 I’m finally learning that I am enough.
I am complete and beautiful as I am.
It’s still hard.
And I still struggle.
Today I’m 9 days post-op from surgery.
I know it’s what I needed to do.
For my health.
To live the life I want
And reach all the goals I have.
The only way was through.
To undo what I had done over 18 years ago.
It’s still hard not to judge my appearance and feel less than a woman.
Yet I am learning to love myself more than I ever have.
Sexy doesn’t come from curves, boobs or another person.
Who said bigger is better anyhow?
I’m not buying into it anymore.
My health is #1.
I do whole-heartedly believe this.
Yet when I take off my post-surgery bra
I still critique.
I’ve shed some tears.
It’s going to take time.
I know I will be stronger.
I will be healthier.
I will be 100% me.
This is a journey and the only way is through.