In one of my recent blog posts here, I was discussing my realizations about self-worth and self-love.
I’d like to expound on this even more with further recent thoughts.
Driving home from work I was thinking about working out, races and self-worth.
I believe I used to train and do races for my own validation and self-worth.
I just had to do well. It was like having to prove myself to myself and others.
If I performed really well at a race, it’d be like I was validating myself. I am worthy and enough.
If I didn’t perform well, I’d feel pretty crummy and like I’d have to explain myself for why the race didn’t go well. I wasn’t worthy or enough.
Ugh…that’s frankly, a sucky place to live from.
Basing your self-worth on external circumstances.
I was letting the external, like a racing or training performance, dictate how I felt about myself.
If others acknowledged how well I did, I’d use that to validate my self-worth. If I thought I did well, I felt good about myself.
But if I thought my performance was less than stellar, I was left not feeling good about myself.
Have you ever felt the same? Let an external circumstance dictate your self-worth?
Maybe it wasn’t sports-related but work-related.
If a procedure with a dental patient went smoothly, maybe it left you thinking better about yourself or that you were a good dentist.
Conversely, if a procedure didn’t go quite as planned, maybe you questioned your worth? Or even if you should be a dentist?
Think on that for just a minute.
How much of that is really in your control? Our patients come in with all their own baggage. We are just helping them with their oral health and doing the best that we can.
And, we are working in an imperfect environment, trying to re-create something God-given with man-made materials.
When you think about it, what we do as dentists is pretty amazing and most of the time we are succeeding, especially all the challenges we are given.
Pretty amazing.
And who wants to give something or someone that much power?
To give someone or something the power to dictate how we feel, if we feel good or bad about ourselves?
We have that power – it comes from within us!
We can choose to feel worthy all the time, regardless of how a procedure goes, or how a race performance goes.
That’s how I want to live!
Now, I don’t let how procedures go dictate how I feel about myself.
I don’t let training or race results dictate how I feel about myself.
Running is a non-negotiable. It is not a non-negotiable because it’s determining my self-worth, that I need to race to prove my worth.
It is a non-negotiable because I enjoy it and it makes me feel good.
Now working out makes me feel strong and gives me self-confidence.
I have self-worth no matter how fast or slow I’m running. Racing and training, it’s not about that anymore, the validation.
Sure I enjoy and it is fun to go to races and do well, but that doesn’t matter nearly as much anymore and I don’t get my self-worth that way.
I now have more personal goals for races vs competing with others.
Working out is a whole different ball game now.
It’s about how I feel versus it used to be a way to validate myself. To prove my worth.
That is going to be a much longer, sustainable way to keep going and stay active.
It’s now coming from a place of love and self-worth to workout, train, and race.
When I workout I do it because I love myself. I am running races because I love it, not because I need to run well to receive validation that I am worthy of love.
You are worthy of love too.
Find that power within and you can live where you feel worthy all the time, regardless of circumstances.