This morning I was trying to stuff all my containers into my lunch bag. I had my lunch all packed, but then realized I had another to add. I tried putting it on top of the container that was in there. No go. Tried sideways. Nope. Just tried forcing it in there.
Forcing it in was not working.
So I then took everything out and re-organized. Finally, success.
How often do you force things? Be it another container into your lunch bag 😂, your partner or spouse to do something, or that next change in your job or career?
Last week at The Dental Festival, I was talking with someone and sharing how I’ve thought about getting into coaching. Their response was “well what if you just went out and got a client next week?”
Now I get where this is coming from. So often we stay stuck, take no actions, and get nowhere.
However, I disagree with this advice. One, I am still in a place of growing myself. If we force something to happen before we are truly ready, this spells disaster. And two, I have no formal training. To me coaching people is a a huge deal – you’re helping them with their life!
I also feel that I am on a journey of trusting myself, my intuition and the process. I so often have forced things or thought things should be a certain way. Now instead, I am allowing things to unfold in due time. This doesn’t mean I am not doing the work, or anything is happening.
It doesn’t mean I am not making progress.
Just because I haven’t started an X-dollar business or have X-number clients doesn’t mean I have not yet succeeded.
As my last blog post said here, I am going through my meeting notes and ideas, making connections, writing other to-dos. I also have signed up for an event 8/5, and have a 1:1 meeting 8/4.
Things are happening…in due time.
I also have realized everything works out – often better than we had planned – if we don’t force, and allow them to unfold.
Have you ever been following a route to your destination, but came upon a detour? You wouldn’t follow your route and force staying on it. You would follow the detour! And along that detour I bet you saw some things, happened upon a cute little coffee shop, or maybe quirky-tourist spot, that you wouldn’t have otherwise!
That’s how I feel now about this journey.
In the past I was so focused on forcing things, what’s next, getting to the end goal, I was missing the journey. Missing learning more about myself and growing.
And that’s how I’m starting to feel about life. So often we want to force a job, a relationship, an outcome. However, if we relax, oftentimes 1. things flow better and 2. the outcome is better!
I have also found that to be true in the game of golf. If I am trying to crush the golf ball, I often miss or hit a bad shot. However, if I relax and have a nice fluid swing, I hit the ball well, and it feels good!
Same idea holds true with running. If we are tense, we use more energy, and also the running is more laborious, whereas if we relax – relax our forehead, relax our shoulders, we flow!
In the last year, 1.5 years, I have found that if I just relax, the day unfolds better, work goes better, the opportunities come my way, the path unfolds vs when I’ve forced things I often end up in situations not meant or not the best for me, which creates more work, stress, and mental anguish.
I will admit, it is not always easy to trust the process and not force things. I admit I don’t have the most patience. I can see where I want to be and I want to be there now.
However, I am enjoying this process. So often we get to that next thing, and then it’s just what’s the next next and the next after that.
Once you start doing it -not forcing things, trusting the process, and enjoying the journey, you’ll see that it’s a life full of more ease. It’s such a better way to live!